Exhaust Breather

I love Biking

2010-09-15T09:33:00.003+02:00

So I decide to ride the singlespeed to work, the weather being all rainy and all that. With my singlespeed having a 32x16 gear ration there is no way that I can sprint around so I try to keep the heart rate low and enjoy the ride in. Everything goes smooth, until I get into Brussels, all of a sudden a geriatric creature in a family van comes riding next to me while honking and shaking a bony fist in my direction, at the same time trying to push me off the road. Eventually she realizes that the body work of her fuel guzzler is more expensive than my life and she lets go. Unfortunately for her traffic lights turn red and I catch up with her giving her a nice "speech" about her life expectancy and how she could spend the rest of her time amongst the living.
Heart rate goes down and again and we're back on out way, on Rue La Loi a tits-for-brains in a Bairische Motor Wanker decides, out-of-the-blue, to cut two lanes at the same time to make a hard turn to the right, exactly the same moment I cross the street. My disc brakes wail,the profile of my tires smears itself on the bicycle lane and I ready for impact. The Japanese engineering however manages to fight faith and I come to a halt mere inches form her right front wheel.
XX chromosomes gets a speech about visual impairment and the suggestion to get a guiding dog with a drivers license, and I want to proceed and then I loose it.
A big pink poster says I love biking in Brussels and some broadly smiling promo creature on stilts wants to offer me a reflective vest for my safety or whatever.
I tell her to fuck off and ultimately decide against pushing her over.

I like biking in Brussels, biking not dying.

The art of dressing up.

2010-09-14T10:48:00.003+02:00

Summer is not officially over yet in good old bHellgium but the morning rides are no longer a bib-short-short-sleeved-jersey affair neither. Until the winter hits us straight in the teeth, we must choose what to wear and what to carry along in the backpack. It took me a day or two before I found the working combo which consists of bib shorts, a short-sleeved base layer, sleeveless wind-breaker and leg pieces.
I keep all the water proof stuff in the Chrome pack, thus making sure it actually never rains. The day I forget it I'll probably end up soaking wet.
Luckily the change in weather also deterred the fair-weather commuter, making the streets a little safer.

have a safe ride.

Where have you been?

2010-08-02T09:31:00.003+02:00

First post in a long long time. I realize might almost look like this was the blog of someone who gave up on biking when it ran out of fashion.
Truth is I have not given up on anything at all, I still ride my +250k a week, matter of fact I spend more time riding bikes than posting about it. More than a year ago it hit me that I had nothing interesting to tell about bikes.
I could start a series of posts aboutI got one day mowed down by a blind driver on my way in to work, got rushed to ER stitched up and sent back home and blablabla but that would do anybody any good... or would it?

Instead I decided to focus on the act of biking which is waaaay more fun than posting angry slogans against stupid petrolheads and homicidal soccer mums. Mind you they're still out there and one should still be careful when riding a bike in big city traffic. I have a nice big scar on my left knee to reminds me, every day I get on my bike and ride.
You could to. Have fun, scare yourself silly, ride till you drop, whatever... have a nice one!

Question numer 352.

2009-09-04T09:32:00.001+02:00

Q: Why do drivers leave their common sense at home whenever it rains?
A: They're afraid it might get wet.

I went to Denmark...

2009-05-04T10:51:00.001+02:00

but all I got was a helmet and a hug...

Those little springtime pleasures...

2009-04-23T14:35:00.005+02:00

I don't know whether I mentioned it before (no memory for old men) but the sunny weather of the past couple of weeks brings a new kind of pleasure to my daily commute which you will never experience if you were to commute by car.
A couple of kilometres of my commute take me through the forest and the beautiful weather of the last weeks has dried the trails to such a degree that I can ride a good bit of singletrack on my semi-slicks without the fear of arriving at work looking like the swamp thing.
This extra loop is my own guiltless playtime to start another working day at the office. I wonder how LL and V would feel if I were to take them to the playground every morning before dropping them of in school? I think they might actually like it.

The attentive reader might have noticed that I don't mention any singletrack riding after work. The reason for that is quite simple; the trails are too crowded. Mind you I don't have any problem with other people hanging out in the woods (except for Nordic Walkers) but the last couple of weeks an whole new group of people has taken over the trails; the so-called cruiser.

To each his own; I myself am not averse of sex whatsoever but it strikes me as quite uncomfortable to go and 'do your thang' in the woods behind a tree with another man. At least I assume that is what they're there for otherwise they 're all in for a cold shower 'cause I haven't seen a single woman hanging out on the trails, yet. Women, as P pointed out, are probably more practical; they go cruising in supermarkets, combining the fun with the useful.

Whatever your definition of trail fun is, keep it safe. Happy trails!

There are 2 kinds of cyclists...

2009-04-15T11:59:00.004+02:00

Those who crashed and those who still have to crash.

Here comes the sun....

2009-04-02T09:49:00.002+02:00

The electricity company fuckers decided to cut the electricity during the night, as a result the alarm-clock lost track of time. L and I woke up too late but no stress; a cup of coffee and a couple of pancakes later and LL an V are ready to get dropped of at school and yours truly is ready to hit them streets.

Winter has officially fled the country, my Finnish friend told me we had 9 degrees Celsius this morning and the sun was toasting my wheels. Nice one! No shoe covers, no mudguards no Gore-Tex, the future's so bright I got to wear shades.

Great invention those shades; they keep the morning sun out of your eyes, they really help if you need to evil-eye some blind motorist and best of all you can check out all the fit ladies who are celebrating the return of Spring, without being noticed.

Life is sweet.

Where's your helmet?

2009-03-31T09:23:00.007+02:00

Check Yehuda Moon for more goodness.

Trop is teveel en teveel is trop...

2009-02-13T10:16:00.003+01:00

The legendary words of Belgium's most notorious butcher, sum up my morning ride very accurately. I gave up the idea that the commute rides could be a form of bicycle training, a long time a ago. There are so many external factors that disturb your ride that you are basically just pushing the pedals without any consideration for cadence, speed or heart rate. Keep the rubber down, and keep away from the four-wheeled death.
Anyway you get used to the blind and or inconsiderate drivers but from time to time there are these exceptions who can still infuriate me to the point where I might (so far I can use the word might) pull him or her from behind the wheel and serve them a can of whoopass.

This morning I got almost driven down three (as in 3) times in a row over a distance of less than 200 meters by the same f*****g blind b***h in a white Mercedes.
Miss c**t pulls out of her parking spot as I pass , near miss number one. Fifty meters further and I turn to the right, just like miss merco, only problem is that she turns so tightly that I almost get hit by her rearview mirror and have to jump my bike on the sidewalk not to get hit. But the last incident a 150 meters further was the straw that broke the camel's back; I am riding on the bicycle lane along the street that turns to the left, this homicidal bitch is coming from behind me and tries to turn to the right, I literally see her right front wheel and front fender almost hit my left pedal.
I brake like a madman, my vision turns black and my heart rate and decibels go up. I hurl a tirade of swearwords at her windshield and continue my way.
Lucky her that she did not get out of her car 'cause I would have made it to the evening news; "Maniac cyclist molests driver and dismantles car".

Ying and Yang

2009-02-06T09:48:00.002+01:00

I had a pretty balanced ride today; one "blind" Audi-fahrer who would rather crush a cyclist than give up one meter in the queue and a bus driver who gave up his priority and waved me through.

Winter ride...

2009-02-04T14:03:00.002+01:00

The frozen fingers
envy toasty comfy feet
slowly ride the frozen sleet

The city never sleeps...

2009-01-29T11:46:00.003+01:00

Back in the days, when I could rant and rave about dangerous drivers without knowing what it's really like to get mowed down by a car, I wrote this little rant about bicycle lights. The next day I went out to buy a battery operated front light which served its purpose for almost 2 years.

Last Christmas I noticed that the plastic casing was broken and those rechargeable batteries are not that reliable when it's freezing. I can't really trust them to last a back and forth ride to work.
But worst of all, drivers don't notice the light. Either that or they just think, small light equals bike... f**k it I ride a steel cage I win.

So I went to my trusty LBS to check for something a little more powerful. Turns out that more powerful, means also more expensive but when you're spending money on safety then you don't want to cut corners; brake pads and lights must not fail.

A couple hundreds of Euro lighter (no pun intended) and Mr. exhaustbreather can burn 720 lumen of respect in the drivers retinae.

Guess what! It worked like a charm for at least a couple of days, then drivers got used to it and now they ignore me again, just like in the old days. Soccer mums making right turns without indicators, grandpas dooring me, ...

Lumen seem to devaluate even quicker than bank shares. So what should I do? Go out and buy me a couple of 950 lumen light? And what with the cycle bell? No driver hears that, so you go get an air horn, which you swap again for a battery operated model...

Next thing you know you have so much light and sound pollution (on top of your regular funes) that the city truly never sleeps.

The dirty look...

2009-01-28T17:44:00.002+01:00

I don't know what it's like in other countries but around here it seems like all policemen and -women are trained to look at you as if you are guilty of the most hideous crimes known to mankind. I had it happening again this morning, waiting at the traffic light (you know I never jump a red light) I had the 2 police men on bikes giving me the most foul look, which I eventually happily returned.

Our little staring competition got interrupted by the light turning green. as I sped of I could not but wonder what the heck those boys in blue had been looking at.

Was it my bike? Now that would be stupid, they were riding bikes themselves, they could as well ogle their own steeds.

Was it the filter mask I was wearing? Could be, but then I might as well look funnily at them 'cause it's surely strange to ride without a a filter mask in urban traffic when it's this cold. All the exhaust fumes will make you turn blue in the face.

Was it perhaps my outfit? Was it the first time they saw someone ride a bike sporting Chrome Shins? At least I don't ride around with a handgun on my hip. Just imagine; me sporting a handgun instead of my trusty Shins...

Then again, it will never happen; I'm not formally trained in giving people the suspicious you-have-done-something-wrong-and-I-am-going-to-figure-out-what-look.

All the selfish and stupid drivers can sleep safely at night (and in traffic).

Blue Monday...

2009-01-19T09:56:00.003+01:00

...or should I say wet Monday? Second week of 2009 and already got my first bike shower. I made my first ride of the new year one the 2nd of January with all my favourite singletracks frozen ROCK solid. The second ride out on the 4th ended with an over-the-bars from yours truly, and a bent derailleur hanger for my beloved rocky.
The second week of January was all snow and frost so I opted to commute by car 'cause bicycles lanes around here are, of course, not salted. Apparently cyclists don't pay taxes or something, and therefore deserve to break their necks.

And now we're back to the normal winter routine; five degrees Celsius and pouring rain. It's great to be back on the bike.

Before I forget; Happy New Year. May we all spend more time riding and less time in traffic jams, hospitals and emergency rooms.

Word of theDay II

2008-11-25T10:18:00.004+01:00

Black Ice

Ok, that's two words, but the result is still the same ouch...
At least I have a nice blue mark down there for show and tell.

Word of the Day

2008-11-20T09:59:00.003+01:00

INDICATORS

Could you, please o please with sugar on top, use 'em? It wont hurt you, and it definitely won't hurt me. Au contraire as the French would say.

Thank you.

Pillow Talk

2008-11-18T14:38:00.004+01:00

Me: What are you reading?
L: This is a really strange book... very weird... you?
Me: ... oh I'm reading this story of a sentient row boat that is having a fight with an uplifted coral reef that just tried to kill two divers by bombarding them with dead parrot fish.
L: ... I see...

Dr. Ruth

2008-11-14T09:37:00.005+01:00

I may have talked about this before but the past couple of days I have been thinking whether this whole blog is nothing more than a self-fulfilling (ooh difficult word) prophecy.
Mr. Exhaustbreather thinks all cars are homicidal maniacs whose only goal in life is to mow him down whilst biking, as a result drivers start to act like selfish bastards with no respect for anybody. There you have it, a self-fulfilling (bloody hell here's that word again) prophecy; you think everything is sh*t and as a result everything will go t*ts up.
This morning I decided to check this theory, I left home convinced that I would have a great ride into work, without any car-related incident whatsoever. By the power of the self-fulfilling (this is the last time I promise) prophecy I should have a great ride into work, right?

Guess what! I did!

Almost...
At some point I reach a crossing and the traffic lights are red. I am no red light jumper so I drive past the queuing card all the way to the head of the queue, and I wait patiently for the light to turn green... The light turns green and I start riding. I swear to Glycon or any deity of your choice, that I am mashing those pedals the split second the light turns green...
Next thing you know there is this lady behind me in a silver Renault Clio who gives a fantastic multi-tasking demonstration; she revs her engine like a full-grown rally pilot, flips me the bird like a gangster rapper and gets foul mouthed like a Tourette patient all this while squeezing past me, almost colliding into oncoming traffic...
Two hundred (200) meters further and she's standing still in front of another red light... I ride past her laughing out loud, I stop and wait for the light to turn green...
Once more I am witness to the same complex multi-tasking ritual, only this time she needs to break like mad not to crash into the back of the queue fifty (50) meters further... I ride past her singing and smiling, she almost chokes in her cigarette screaming (rasping) more profanities... I don't see her again.

What made the poor woman act like that?
Was she late for work? I can't help with that, I didn't tell her to drive her car into work.
Did she need some coffee? My advice; French pressed coffee is the best, one spoon of coarse ground coffee per mug of coffee, it takes no time to prepare and it tastes like Heaven.
Was she unhappy about her sex life? Hey! Easy now! Hold it right there! I am Mr. Exhaustbreather not frigging Dr. Ruth.

Visdom Part III

2008-11-10T11:01:00.003+01:00

V this morning rummaging around in L's handbag:

V: What is that lying in your handbag?
L: That's a mandarin orange.
V: Oh I thought you were taking a clown nose to work.

Traffic and anatomy...

2008-11-07T10:39:00.005+01:00

Only two 4x4 incidents on my ride into work.

1) Mrs. Blindcow in a Landrover decides to turn to the right without using indicators and almost drives me of the bicycle lane.

2) Soccer mum in a Volkswagen Toerag decides to cut my priority and almost mows me down. I continue my way but Mrs. offroad starts to yell after me. I brake and turn around to ask her what her problem is. She gets out of her car and goes berserk. I suggest her to turn down her volume since it was her who was blatantly at fault for cutting my priority and I tell her to learn thing or two about the different traffic signs before driving a car.

Unfortunately her knowledge on traffic signs is up to par with her knowledge on human anatomy, as she climbs back in her thank she tells me to suck her d**k.

Let's play a game...

2008-10-31T14:35:00.001+01:00

called suicide...

I am Zombie...

2008-10-28T09:59:00.002+01:00

I think I lost my passion for cycling, I have no longer my heart in it.
At least that's what it looked like this morning. As I started my journey my heart rate was around 215, then dropped to a 127, jumped up again to 198 and then I flat-lined...
Strangely enough my legs kept going, keeping a good steady cadence and my wheels kept rolling. I can only see three explanations.
1. Cyclists are like 'roaches (the legs keep going even if you cut of their head)
2. The chest-strap of my heart sensor was maladjusted (too boring to be true).
3. V would find this probably the coolest explanation... I am Zombie...

Cause & Effect.

2008-10-24T09:55:00.003+02:00

It started raining this morning as I was about to leave for work.
Just my luck, I forgot my rain jacket at work last night.
Next time I'll forget a T-shirt and swim trunks at work...

Visdom Part II

2008-10-24T09:50:00.003+02:00

"Look papa, the clouds are burning."
"Papa, do you know why Gargamel keeps Smurfs in a little cage? To make soup..."
(V being dropped of in kindergarten)

"I really need to get a haircut, I start to look like a German."
(L getting ready for work)

Bloody wind...

2008-10-23T09:46:00.005+02:00

Mr. Exhaust breather was home alone last night, should be fun. I kicked up my feet, I popped "Earthed 4 death or glory" in the DVD player and got myself ready for some sweet downhill and freeride action...

And then the phone rang.

"Hi det er M, hvordan gaar det?"
"Hi M, det gaar godt nok, men hvordan har I det?"
"Ikke saa godt, F er døde..."

The rest of the evening passed in a blurry haze. I called L to tell her that M's father-in-law passed away, called my parents, went to bed...

The ride into work this morning was quite hard; memories of F were my co-pilot.

PS: If anybody asks me whether I'm OK I'll just tell 'em it's the bloody wind that makes my eyes so red and swollen.

Bad idea...

2008-10-22T14:29:00.004+02:00

Legwork...

2008-10-20T21:49:00.000+02:00

Yehuda for president...

2008-10-17T11:16:00.008+02:00

Check Yehuda Moon for more goodness.

I feel kinda bad...

2008-10-17T10:55:00.002+02:00

but not really.
This morning on the ride in I pass a queue of cars on the right (normally I will pass queues on the left but traffic was so dense and I did not feel like getting crushed by the oncoming traffic) and this lady just decides to drive even closer to the parked cars the moment I pass.
I can not move any further to the right, slam my right hand against the rear-view mirror of a parked truck and pull a little endo. My rear wheel touches (scratches?) the woman's car as it bounces back (the wheel, not the car).

And I ride on.

What was I supposed to do? Ride illegally on the side walk and endanger pedestrians? Vanish in thin air? I am no bike ninja. Commute by car? I am not THAT desperate.

PS: I got My new electronic ID last night, L says I look like a criminal on the picture.

It's not that different from a ride in the park...

2008-10-16T15:08:00.002+02:00

Why...

2008-10-16T09:45:00.002+02:00

is it always the fat stinking lard brain, who does not know how to read traffic signs nor masters his own mother tongue, and not some young fit Swedish nanny who will stop to lecture me on where to ride my bike? Cyclists are allowed to ride against traffic in a one-way street if the appropriate traffic sings tell you so. I am however not allowed to ride on the side walk as Mr. faeces-for-brain helpfully suggested, even if that means that he has to leave some room for a stupid cyclist.

Why do you engage your car onto the crossroads even when it's obvious to everybody that the crossroads are already completely blocked and that you're just adding insult to injury? Is it the excessive use of hairspray that caused brain necrosis or are just just a selfish c**t?

And last but not least; Why do I even bother?

Business Proposal

2008-10-13T13:37:00.003+02:00

Good Day,

My name is XIE XINGHUA, I work with BANK OF CHINA,LONDON.

I have a Business Proposal of $17,300,000.00 for you to handle with me from my bank.I will need you to help me in transferring the above funds from my bank to your country. I need to know if you will be able to handle this with me before I explain to you in details.

Should you be interested please send me your:
1,Full names,
2,occupation,
3,private phone number,
4,current residential address.

Finally after that I shall furnish you with more informations about this project.However I shall be waiting your response and assurance.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards
Mr.Xie Xinghua

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Xie,

You are clearly mistaken, I am an exhaust breather not a Muppet.

Regards,

Mr. Exhaust Breather

Visdom

2008-10-13T10:04:00.003+02:00

When I help V to get dressed to go to school we have these deep conversations about the meaning of life...

V: There are no toilets in the jungle are there?
Papa exhaust breather: Not that I know of...
V: That's OK Tarzan does not go to the toilet.
Papa exhaust breather: Of course he does, he would get sick if he didn't...
V: Nooooh! Tarzan does not go to the toilet. Tarzan does not eat.
Papa exhaust breather: I'm sure he does, otherwise he would get weak...
V: Nooooh! Tarzan has strong muscles.
Papa exhaust breather: I see...

Lance vs. Mash SF

2008-10-10T10:30:00.002+02:00

Making a difference

2008-10-09T13:23:00.002+02:00

What if...

2008-10-08T09:57:00.004+02:00

dogs could drive cars?
A barking mad idea you say? Think again.
The advantages are numerous.

- No more flagrant hostility towards pedestrians and other cyclists, after all dogs are man's best friend.
- No more blind sorry-I-did-not-see-you- driving. It's the dog leading the blind and not the other way around.
- No accidents caused by female dogs putting on make-up while driving. Did you ever see a dog wearing lipstick?
- No more answering cell phones when driving. How would they do it ? Dog have no thumbs.

And last but not least; dogs learn. Remember Pavlovs' dog? That clever canine learned in no time that a ringing bell equals food. Humans on the other hand are still having trouble to understand the relationship between cars and traffic jams.

Woof!

PS: One might object that dogs are colour-blind but it seems to me that the same goes for a lot of drivers... and cyclists... and pedestrians.

I wonder...

2008-10-07T10:15:00.005+02:00

what went on in the head of the driver (stuck in the traffic-jam from Hell) who was looking at me all misty-eyed while I was waitng for the light to turn green. (Yes I am a boring law-abiding citizen like that). Was he admiring my bike? Checking my outfit? Ogling my hairy legs? If so I am of course very flattered and everything but L and I are happily married.
I guess I read too much into this; the poor guy must have been standing there for the last half an hour, breathing carbon-monoxide and diesel fumes, turning his brain to jelly.

Wake Up! Take a hike! Even better; Ride a bike!

ps: The extra time I get by not queuing along with all the other gas-guzzling sheep was well spent making french toast for breakfast (LL loved it, V stuck with cornflakes). French press coffee and French toast; a champion's breakfast (it surely beats black coffee and cigarettes).

Check your head...

2008-10-06T10:59:00.005+02:00

and your bike(s) on a regular basis. Here's why.
Last night while preparing my bike for another week of bad-weather-commuting, i noticed some play on the big chain ring. It turned out that one of the 4 screws that fixes the chainring to the cranks had decided to run off without even leaving a letter or anything. The other 3 screws were also ready to f*ck off 'cause they were pretty loose as well. Luckily I could recuperate a screw of some old crank set that I have lying around (No I don't throw that 'junk' away it will come handy one day...). So I tightened the chainring bolts, cleaned and lubed the chain and re-installed my fenders.
According to Belgian traffic rules, installing fenders on a sports bike (like my MTB) makes it mandatory to run reflectors as well. The fact that I have working lights on my bike does not help, the law says reflectors... Befehl ist befehl.

So I am, as of today, riding an illegal bike...

Welcome to moronia.

All hope is lost...

2008-10-05T15:03:00.002+02:00

Me: I'm pt3r I'm 37 years old and I bought my wife an iPod classic for her birthday.
Everybody: Welcome pt3r!
...

Talk of the day...

2008-10-03T10:00:00.006+02:00

Disgruntled colleague: Traffic was completely crazy last night; It took me more than an hour to drive home.
Exhaustbreather: Why don't you come by bike?
Disgruntled colleague: That's crazy talk! I can not do that; I live almost 10 km from work.
Exhaustbreather: Eh... I live 17 km from work...
Disgruntled colleague: Yes but your legs are trained...
Exhaustbreather: Do you think I was born on a bike? If you don't ride your legs will never get trained.

How do you ask...

2008-09-17T09:29:00.002+02:00

Are you driving a bus?
Why did you cut me of?
Are you blind or just plain stupid?

in Polish?

Google claims it's something along the lines of:

Czy kierowcy autobusu?
Dlaczego mnie wyciąć?
Czy niewidomi lub po prostu głupi?

No translation was found for lardbrain.

I is not a clown...

2008-09-16T09:41:00.002+02:00

... nor a circus artist who can trackstand for half an hour while you block my passage deciding on whether to drive or not. Please o please with sugar on top; when I stop that means you can drive and or cross the road. It's not necessary to just stand there and watch how long I can keep my balance before I need to put one foot on the ground. It's not like I block your way until you turn off your engine or take of your shoes, do I?

PS: Mr taxi driver, do you really need to race me when the light turns green? Is it that important to you to reach the traffic jam before I do?

Call me whatever...

2008-09-15T13:53:00.003+02:00

...but these dimwits must realize that religion is a purely personal thing. That means; keep it to yourself and more importantly DO NOT BOTHER other people with it (and especially not me), nor think that it is a useful tool to run a society. Idiots.

Exorcism and nordic walkers...

2008-05-19T10:09:00.003+02:00

As I get older I seem to develop more and more this sense of self preservation, up to the point where that stuff takes over my own free will. It's not like I ever was a Josh Bender (extreme freeride mountain biker not pornstar) but I am not a complete chicken neither.
Alas, the past couple of years I noticed that I am not that confident riding steep descents on my mountain bike. There are a few sections on my local trail that plainly scare me. Whenever I roll up on top of those sections I will chicken out and come to a grinding halt, unmount my ride and walk down. Trust me nothing looks as stupid as a guy in riding gear inching down a slope holding on to his mountain bike. I might as well install training wheels again.
So this weekend I put on my gear took out the full suspension bike and decided to exorcise the demons. It was now or never. I rode to my first scary section of the trail, a not so steep but quite narrow descent with barbwire fence on the left and a concrete wall on the right and a few steps and loose stones. A bit technical but nothing extreme. I have tried to ride this section a gazillion times before on my hardtail XC race bike with the same result over and over again; I arrive on top of the section and I brake, my brain will refuse my body to do it. Until this weekend, I just rode it! Ha! Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!
I continued my ride feeling like king of the hill. On my way home I took a piece of trail I never rode before and all of a sudden I end up on top of a steep section that rides out to a small river, you miss your turn and you end up in the water or you hit a tree.
And the demon was back in full effect and pulled my brakes. I cursed turned around, gained some momentum but to no avail, the demon just laughed in my ear and pulled the brakes. I tried 2 more times, always the same result. Luckily I was alone, any passer-by would have laughed his ass of. Look at the chicken on the mountain bike what on earth is he up to, riding in circles on top of that hill?
And that was that, I kicked my demon there and then and rode down that hill, feeling all stupid it had taken me so many attempts to even do it...

Does this mean that I'm no longer afraid when I go riding my bike? Hell no! It will take much more practice to convince myself that I can ride down steep sections without an OTB or worse, but at least I feel already a bit more confident.

Nothing to be afraid of, except dogs running loose and nordic walkers.
The dogs is an easy thing to explain; the small ones are more than likely suicidal and will invariably try to jump under my wheels, making me look like a vicious dog killer in the eyes of their owners (old grumpy looking men and women). Whereas the big ones well, they want to show me who is the faster one, and who has the sharpest teeth.

The Nordic walkers are a whole different ballgame.
Imagine a couple of determined, pissed-off-looking grannies on a mission, marching in the woods on a sunny Monday morning, wielding ski sticks. They are clearly out of their mind and no one can guarantee me that they won't come after me, convinced that it was I who crippled their poodles and stole their skis.

Sodom and Gomorrah.

2008-04-08T09:25:00.004+02:00

Spring is in the air, the sun is shining, traffic is completely blocked and the birds are coughing in the morning light.
Senor beamer seems to think differently 'cause he honks his horn violently as I ride past the queuing gas guzzlers.
I always accept these invitations to dialog so I stop and ask him what the problem is. Now senor gets a bit shy; he clearly did not expect to have success with the fit-looking cyclist. So I ask him again what the problem is. Finally, senor beamer lowers his window and starts babbling furiously.
I master a few languages but his tirade leaves me clueless so I repeat my question emulating his babble language, this seems to get him even more excited and all of a sudden he displays his (rather poor) knowledge of the English language by advising me to go and have sexual intercourse with myself. I thank him for the invitation and continue my ride.
I hope that senor does not spend the rest of his day inciting every cyclist to display such promiscuous behavior; this could turn traffic jams into a 21st century Sodom and Gomorrah.

Our Hero.

2008-02-05T08:48:00.001+01:00

No worries

2008-01-31T09:51:00.000+01:00

The usual stuff this morning; busy traffic and slippery roads. I got almost doored by a car as I rode past. Nothing new really, business as usual.

A group of around 40 toddlers brought traffic to a halt as they had to cross the street. This sight will always put a smile on my face.

Mr Volkswagen Passat behind me did not see the fun nor the charm of this and almost knocked me down when traffic started moving again.
That's ok; he was probably distracted and he did not see me nor did he realize he was riding on the bicycle lane.
No worries it could happen to anyone.

200 meters further swerving from one lane to another without use of indicators, whilst racing a van, he almost knocks this lady on her bicycle of the road.
That's ok; he was probably in a hurry, had more important things to do than her,and did not notice the fluorescent high-visibility vest she was wearing.
No worries it could happen to anyone.

500 meters further and he has to break like a madman for the cars who are queuing at the red light. As I ride by I spit the greenest and stickiest loogie on his window.
That's ok; I probably got distracted by his excellent driving skills.
No worries it could happen to anyone.

We will not yield.

2008-01-29T13:49:00.000+01:00

We will not yield.

Ever since Satan invented the combustion engine, we have been losing the war.
We have been run off the road by buses, construction trucks and debutants in SUVs.
Rednecks in big trucks have belted us with beer cans and called us hurtful names.
We have been bullied, barraged and besieged until all we have left is the broken shoulder that sparkles which shards of green glass, fast-food wrappers and condoms.
We've been labeled freaks and treated like second-class citizens.

Bikers unite.

It is time to rise up and reclaim our roads and trails.

We will mount our steeds, be they steel, aluminium or featherweight carbon, and ride into the battle of the carbon monoxide-spewing masses.

We will fight the big oil Goliaths with nothing but a twelve-tooth cog, a Teflon-lubricated chain, a pair of watermelon-sized quadriceps and grapefruit-sized calf muscle pistons.

We will break our enemy down, one revolution at a time.
We will ride to save ourselves, our species, our Mother Earth.
We will no longer pretend we are in a civilized disagreement.
We will no longer give ground.

Make no mistake.

This is war.

And we will not stop until the day that bikers rule.

Disclaimer: I am in no way related to the company that created this ad campaign, I just believe they sum it up pretty well.

Three calls... you're out

2007-11-29T09:28:00.000+01:00

The few good souls who read my ranting from time may have noticed that the number of kicking-and-screaming kind of posts has gone down as the blog grows older. You might think that traffic has become less hostile and motorists have found enlightenment and respect for the carbon based commuters out there.
Unfortunately life is no Hollywood production, no happily living after, it's more a Dogme kind of plot; life is senseless shit and then you die. The thing is that I grow used to obnoxious traffic, I'll just jell an insult or spit on your car (it's the perfect time of the year for that; temperatures are dropping and humidity is rising, captain phlegm is back, the color of revenge is green.). I won't even try to write a post about it.

Unless I am really, REALLY, pissed of like this morning.
A day that starts like any other day ; I drop of LL and V at school, take my trusty bike and head of for work. At some point I have to turn left onto the main street but the street I'm on is no priority street so I wait, on the main street a women has stopped to turn left into my street (blinking indicator and everything) waiting for a car that comes down the main street but from the opposite direction. Pretty normal situation, you might say, except for this ASSHOLE in his BMW, who clearly does not feel like waiting for the oncoming car and who takes over the waiting car to turn also left into my street. Mister asshat is driving so fast and takes his turn so sharp that he literally misses my front tire by 10 cm. Yours truly gives him some verbal insult and a finger but the murderous coward is in such a hurry (he probably has to go and run over some schoolkids or whatever it is he does for a living) that he doesn't even feel to pull over to exchange some more verbal pleasantries.
First close call of the day and I only rode 700 meters, way to go.

Ten kilometers later and I am almost history, roadkill, mangled aluminum and broken bones, a statistic.

Leaving a roundabout I get almost mowed down by this blind bitch in her silver 4x4, and by 'almost' I mean that I can see the bull bar (Brussels is a very dangerous place, loads of wild buffaloes and rhinos running around) of her gas-guzzler missing my right leg and rear wheal by 5 or 10 cm, I could count the little bars of the radiator grill. I manage too keep my balance and the adrenaline races through my veins, my feet push the pedals and my bike jumps forward away from the 3 tons of murderous steel. Second very close call of the day.

7 seconds later and I bring my bike to a screeching halt (my tires are now officially no longer suited for off road riding) and turn around to (y)(t)ell the rabid soccer mom what I think of her driving skills and I even suggest her a new job and some actions to obtain sexual relief. I know 4x4 are the Nec Plus Ultra of selfishness and soundproofing but I'm pretty sure she understood every single syllable of my little speech.

As my voice breaks down the BLIND SELFISH MURDEROUS BITCH HAS THE NERVES TO WAVE ME OF AS IF IT IS MY FUCKING FAULT THAT I ALMOST GOT KILLED OR PARALYSED!?.

I loose it, my pulse goes up and only one thought races through my brain;

MUST DESTROY!

I don't usually carry a hammer with me but I always keep my bicycle lock in my bag strapped to my back; that will do the trick just perfectly. I reach for the shoulder strap of my bag but fortunately, as I start loosening with the strap of my bag to get my lock out to transform her windshield into a designer puzzle, common sense gets the best of me; I pull the bag back in place, pick up my bike and drive of, shaking with rage. And when look behind me I see the 4x4 keeping at least 30 meters distance not even daring to take over.

Seriously, this time I almost went over the edge. I call myself lucky that I got away without a scratch and that I managed to cool down on time because this would have ended very nasty.

Words of wisdom...

2007-10-18T09:24:00.000+02:00

Last night on my ride home I had this pretty annoying car driving in front of me at a blistering 20 Km/h, breaking for no reason, indicator to the left followed by a swift turn to the right,...
Anyway, yours truly was getting pretty wound up to say the least. What does an angry pt3r do? He starts muttering; come on you muppet, keep driving, some of have more important things to do an blablabla... I'm sure you get the picture.
All of a sudden I had this religious experience; a voice coming from my left shoulder said with a heavy Dutch accent; "Don't bother, he can't hear you."
No there was no shiny winged dude with a dress on sitting on my shoulder. Instead some older stringy guy on a battered touring bike materialized on my left and took over. He kept pedaling like the devil was on his tail, his bike creaking and squeaking under all the punishment.
Needless to say that I forgot all about the muppet in the car and had pleasant yet muddy ride home.

This morning I slow down at the pedestrian crossing to let some older man cross the street, but he smiles, gives me thumbs up and waves me through.

No better way to start the day.

The song I've been humming all morning: Drink the Elixir by Salad.

Me vs. Rain...

2007-10-17T09:37:00.000+02:00

Yay! I made it in before the rain despite the multiple, yet futile, efforts of a black 4x4 and a police van who cut my lane repeatedly. I actually figured out that it's better to leave 10 minutes later in the morning so all the schools have already started by the time I enter Brussels.
That way I don't need to deal with all the queues at the school gate. Parents drop of the kids by car because the roads are to dangerous to let kids cycle to school; "There are too many cars on the road I'll drive you to school" Doh!

Bitter old man...

2007-10-16T22:03:00.000+02:00

Is it my really nature or is it all the exhaust fumes I've been breathing during my numerous commutes but most of the times my glass is half empty. V who is a real 'the glass is half full person' has still good hope for me though; she believes that underneath all the cynical grumpiness lies a cheerful optimistic pt3r hidden.
I really hope it's true, it would not dare to doubt her, especially after watching the news tonight. Sir Bob Geldolf who bitter me called a 'sad attention whore who is so desperately trying to get some Nobel Prize for whatever' has proven me so wrong that I can only but apologize. The speech he made for the Antwerp Diamond society hit home with me, it's clear that truth hurts and oh my did he hurt 'em or what? The way he questioned the conditions in which diamonds are 'made' clearly got a few of those diamond honchos uneasy, serves the greedy bastards right.

Sir I can only but salute you!

Ps: V and M, thank you again for the lovely weekend at Houffalize. The mountain biking was not what M or I had hoped for but the nature, the fine weather and last but not least the great company made up for that.

Chrome vs. GoreTex... 1-0

2007-09-28T09:21:00.000+02:00

Spring is gone and here comes the fall, bad boy no summer. Get out your mudguards and clip on those lights, 'cause rain is back in town. Rain as in 'did you take a shower in those clothes?' not rain as in 'the garden can use a bit of water'.
Since I'm no fair-weather commuter I did not take the train into work, but biked as usual. Moments like these are the ultimate test for your cycling gear; it either passes or fails, there's no middle way.

My GoreTex rain jacket failed, miserably. By the time I got in my office I was soaked to the bone, the point where you only can get drier. Boo, overpriced shit...

My Chrome Metropolis bag on the other hand passed the test perfectly, all contents (spare set of clothes, reserve cycling gear, puncture repair kit, PB sandwiches, banana, lock,...) were drier than a camel's pussy in the Sahara. I remember L's reaction when I bought the bag a month ago in Copenhagen; Are you sure you want to spend that much money on a bag? Well let me tell you this, a bag of this quality is worth every Euro cent I paid for it, hurray for the guys 'n girls from Chrome, you know what a biker need.

Ps: I am not sponsored by Chrome, but if any of the good people of Chrome were to stumble across this blog; a pair of shins in size XL would be greatly appreciated.

Man vs. Machine

2007-09-21T09:05:00.000+02:00

You race me through the traffic jam,
convinced to get there first
And then you're stuck all 4x4
I bet you, that must hurt.

Such a perfect day...

2007-09-14T09:18:00.000+02:00

I pointed it out before but from time to time I still make the same mistake; it seems like I only post whenever I am angered by traffic or fed up by stupid driving altogether. Right now, I could write a lengthy tirade about how I almost got crushed against a parked car by some blind beemer who changed lane without even looking and who had the nerve to honk his horn at me. I could go on about the traffic jams and about all the lemmings who, against all logic, get their death cages of steel and glass out to contribute to pollution and global warming...
I will not do so. I would like to tell you about the great morning ride I had into work today; the sun was shining and my legs were good. On top of that the European Commision had decided to make today a "FidayBikeDay". They set up a couple of stands outside the Berlaymont building to welcome cyclists, with breakfast and little goody bag with fair trade goods and a few leaflets with tips and tricks on cycling in the city.
It looks like this action in combination with the nice weather did not miss its goal, a lot of commission employees left their car at home to come by bike. Sunshine and smiling people drinking coffee, having fresh fruit salad, munching a "chocolatine". This has to put you in a good mood at the beginning of a working day, unless you're one of the lemmings stuck in morning traffic, breathing exhaust fumes.

Temper temper...

2007-09-06T09:38:00.000+02:00

Mental note to myself; It is never ever repeat NEVER a good idea to kick into a car door or to spit on its windshield, never, no matter how stupid the driver is or how much (s)he endangers my physical integrity. It will never be a fair fight, 12 kgs of aluminum vs. 2 tons of steel.

But sometimes it gets very tempting...

What are you made of?

2007-09-04T09:40:00.000+02:00

Second day in a row; the moment I'm about to leave the house with LL and V to drop 'em of at school, it starts raining. And for the second day in a row I chicken out, I have no place at work to dry my wet cycling gear so I decide to take the train :-(. And to put insult ot injury; it stops raining by the time I arrive at the station, again, great... NOT.

I’m made of a precious metal, afraidium. It’s yellow, and tastes like chicken.

Fender, Robots.

When two tribes go to war...

2007-09-03T09:03:00.000+02:00

Aaah Copenhagen... city of bikes, beautiful girls, expensive beer and anarchists. On Saturday they 'celebrated' the half year birthday of the violent evacuation of Ungdomshuset. What better way is there to celebrate than to pick a fight with the cops, plunder and pillage a few stores, Molotov for everyone, the Viking way.
Is this the last convulsion of a subculture against the blind capitalism of Anders Fogh? Face it, the 'normalisation' of Christiania, the sale of Ungdomshuset to some fundamentalist Christian organisation hit two birds with one stone. On one hand there is C.R.E.A.M. aka dough aka money money moneeeey, the second purpose is a less obvious but very noticeable nonetheless; the promotion of the Danish way. Ungdomshuset not unlike Christiania has always been a promotion of an alternative lifestyle, one that goes pretty much against everything the current government stands for; blind consumerism. Venstre might just be a liberal party but their coallition partner is a completely different story, to put it mildly. If you sleep with a dog you’ll catch his fleas, and Venstre is not only sleeping with Dansk Folkeparti but they’re also kissing… with tongues.

The romance of child neglect

2007-08-31T09:38:00.000+02:00

Last weekend L and I took of to Copenhagen and left LL and V at home. Four days being L and P not mum or dad, pure bliss. Funnily enough the trip from Copenhagen airport over to S and F's place took longer than the flight from Brussels to Copenhagen. We missed one train, two busses and lost another thirty minutes to find an ATM. Hence my call to Denmark; please get rid of the Kroner, embrace the Euro and most of all stop moving the bus stops.
But hey L and I had all the time in the world and had spent our time useful watching people while waiting for another bus. The bus ride itself was pretty uneventful apart from the two drunken homeless guys who got on the bus one stop after us. The rest of the ride we got engulfed in a cloud of alcohol vapors and cigarette smoke (the loudest one had started smoking) that was not strong enough the mask out their omnipresent stench.
The two were on there way to a lady friend's apartment, judging by the monologue of the smoking one. "... yeah don't think I'm drunk you know, but that one bar is really nice 'cause they treat us nice there... yeah...they don't throw us out all the time... they serve us drinks... even K likes it there, she doesn't throw with bottles when we're there... yeah... I have a key to her place, which I don't need 'cause most of the time she lets me in... " Another oratory talent gone to waste.
Copenhagen was perfect; sunshine, cool art galleries, designer shops, pretty women, loads and loads of bikes, great bike shops (I dare you to name me one bike shop in Belgium that sells Chrome bags and where they let you in after closing time) , cafes with excellent food and expensive beer, one day and the credit cards were smoking. L and I had a great time; we went over to J's place for lovely diner and plaid cards and drank beers with J and J2 until the early hours. The next day we celebrated F's birthday, danced and drank till we dropped and got hung-over. The sweet life.
My mind is set; if we ever become rich and famous or manage to get jobs that allow us doing so then we move to Copenhagen, the land of milk and honey(-flavoured beer).

If I were a rich man...

2007-07-27T12:08:00.000+02:00

Yeah yeah, money does not buy happiness and beauty lies within and all the centerfold pinups want a man with a good sense of humor... that Hugh Hefner guy must tell a mean joke.
Anyway back to the money topic.
I can't say I'm poor; L and I make enough money to keep a nice roof above our head. We manage to feed LL and V (if they want to eat what we serve 'em) and they don't have to go around wearing rags. But whenever I look around on the gazillion bicycle websites to look at the beautiful pictures, I always come to the same conclusion; F*** me I have an expensive taste.
There are many nice bikes out there, at least as many (if not even more) as there are bills to pay.
I'm not a pro biker, I manage to do a few tricks with computers instead, but I like to ride my bike, and from time to time I wonder what it would be like to ride another type of bike. How about a nice full suspension mountain bike, or some dangerous looking freerider or a sweet singlespeed road racer or a...

Who am I fooling?
I don't have the money to spend on a new bike, and even if I did have all the money to buy every bike I lust after then I still wouldn't find all the time to ride all these beautiful machines, and nothing is as sad as a bike that just stands there, a bike that never gets taken out for a ride... yes there are things that are even more sad; three-legged puppies, drowned kittens, tour de france,... but you're missing my point.
I simply can not add to all this sadness, it would break my heart, but most of all it would break my bank account.
Stop the sadness, ride that bike and ride safe.

Change of diet

2007-07-26T12:19:00.000+02:00

Chicken and Vino... is don't think so. I better get back to a straightedge lifestyle, it will save us a headache or two. Falling of your bike changes the structure of your red blood cells and Italy is the capital of Mexico. Hematology and geography completely rewritten. Fucking muppets.

Loosing my religion...

2007-05-31T09:03:00.000+02:00

I'm not exactly a religious guy. I always claim to be a bike riding Satanist whenever some relgious nutcase rings the doorbell to show me his watchtower or to make an appointment for the end of the world. That is of course only half the truth I'm not really a Satanist. I guess it must be quite a thrill though, to attend a black mass surrounded by all these fine naked women wearing animal masks, but I guess L would object, as would my mum.
This only leaves me with bike riding which is of course no real religion, after all there is no biking God is there? Let's get real; who would adopt a religion where your God is a cheating lying muppet with shaven legs, drugged up to his eyeballs?
Luckily there is the omnipresent holy trinity of Av, Mx, and the holy Odo. Undeniable facts and figures brought to us through the miracle of electronics and bicycle computers. This holy trinity makes biking a never ending competition with an unbeatable opponent; yourself. Always faster, better, further, no prize money at the finish, only heavy breathing and burning legs.
But I've been loosing it lately; I can no longer be bothered to speed through every traffic jam to get my average speed up, to bomb down the hill to beat my maximum speed and I don't need to ride that extra kilometer today, tomorrow is another day. Don't get me wrong, I luuuuuuurve ma bike and it is in my opinion the most optimal mean of transport in the city, but I don't want it to break my neck, biking is way too much fun for that.
I fooled Death once but He won't be fooled twice.

The boy(s) (is)(are) back in town...

2007-05-30T10:45:00.000+02:00

It's good to ride again after more than a month being off the bike. The first days went a bit sketchy, but it seems like my legs still work as they used to, and my bike rides smoother than ever. My lbs did a nice upgrade on my machine; new gears and hydraulic disc brakes and they already paid of twice this morning. The legs might still work but I surely need to hone my traffic skills, 'cause riding the city is definitely no cruise down the beach.
The sun is shining, SUV's burn red lights, traffic is clogging up, horns are honking, I taste the pollution... It's good to be back.

Ride safe.

3...2...1...

2007-05-21T14:25:00.000+02:00

I went for a medical checkup last week, to see how I'm recovering from my operation of last month, and it seems everything goes according to plan. The best news is that I got the all clear to start riding again. So once I get my bike back from the shop I can start to cycle into work again. Looking forward to that.

What does not kill you...

2007-05-12T17:33:00.000+02:00

It's been a while without blogging but it's also been a long time without biking. I started to have stomach trouble around the same time as I picked up my bike to commute into work. Not a little bit of stomach pain but the serious **** that keeps your awake at night and feels like someone is pulling a roll of red hot barbed wire through your intestines. Needless to say that my consumption of painkillers reached an all time high, and my sleep levels reached an all time low. The local pharmacist was considering to give me the customer-of-the-week-award and L got so worried about me that she made me go to the doctor. The doctor did a couple of blood tests, made me go to the hospital to get an endoscopy but none of that really helped; they did not find out what was wrong with me, nor did the pain go away. I started to wonder whether it was stress or perhaps even bike related.
About one month ago everything climaxed; one morning I collapsed at work, colleagues found me under my desk curled up crying like a little baby of all the pain I was in. I got rushed to hospital (first time I caught a ride with an ambulance) where I was given these serious painkillers. But the pain would not drop, they put me under the scanner and all of a sudden everything got crystal clear; they pulled me from under the scanner and I went straight to the operating room. It turned out I was suffering from a intestinal torsion. An emergency operation was performed to pull everything out and put it all back in working order. After a week in hospital I was sent home for further recovery, and up to now I haven't ridden my bike.
But hey .... it only makes you stronger right? Right?

Morning ride.

2007-01-09T08:58:00.000+01:00

You race by and honk your horn,
convinced I can not follow.
When I speed past your traffic jam,
your pride gets hard to swallow.

Well this is back to school…

2007-01-08T10:55:00.000+01:00

Phew! Xmas holidays are over and LL and V are back to school, kind of. And daddy-o is back on his bike. The cycle computer was sleeping when I took of this morning, with sore legs and some nice morning rain to wake me up. I can feel it that I’ve been of the bike for a couple of weeks, not only do you loose the form very quickly but you also forget to think like a biker. You just need to read traffic in a different way than when you drive a car.
I’m not happy with my ride in, I burned an orange light at a pedestrian crossing and I heard the guy waiting to cross yell after me. And f*ck me he’s right, WTF was I thinking.
Mister voyager makes his turn a little too wide an almost crushes me, I go “Oi!” and he yells at me “this is a one way street you idiot!” and I yell back “Not for bicycles you blind f*ck!”. Road rage in the morning you just got to love it. NOT!
I need to obey traffic lights like everybody else and mister Voyager must learn to drive his car and learn that most one way streets are not one way streets for bicycles.
So yes, this is back to school…

Ps: My cycle computer is lying; no way that my average speed was only 24.7 or was it?

Less Than Zero

2006-12-18T10:37:00.000+01:00

Finally! I thought it would never happen but this morning winter has started for real. Zero degrees Celsius, that’s what the thermometer in the car said when I drove LL and V to school. This is the moment when all that isolating cycling gear you bought earlier in the season has to pass the real test. Well, let me tell you this, the cycling pants with the built in layer of wind stopper, the neoprene cycling jacket and my winter shoes passed the test glamorously, those gloves on the other hand (no pun intended) are a piece of sh*t; by the time I made it to work the tops of my fingers were like little ice cubes.
I guess commuting will now throw a new challenge at me; will I be able to find the daily motivation to haul my spandex clad ass through traffic while my fingers are freezing of?
So far it seems like I can handle it but then there hasn’t been any snow yet so I don’t want to get too optimistic yet, but it seems like I can keep warm in sub zero conditions (if I get a pair of real winter gloves).
I replaced my front brake pads as well over the weekend, it seems like I wear down at least two pairs of brake pads over a month that’s like 4 pads per 600 km. Those pads go at 10 Euros a pair so that makes these winter months extra expensive.
The genius colleagues think I’m crazy to pay 10 Euros for a set of brake pads but then again these Einsteins believe that you can buy a serious bike for 200 Euros. Honestly if I don’t buy brakes it will be even cheaper but you see I’m a bit odd like that; I'd rather be able to stop before I get under a car, and 10 Euros is a small price I’m very happy to pay.
But then again what do they know a bout riding a bicycle, for them riding a bicycle in the city sounds as odd as wrestling bunch of starving alligators. Actually by moments it feels like I’d rather wrestle an alligator or two; a lot of car drivers are still completely unaware of your presence despite the fact that the number of bikes are on the rise in the city.
The truck driver who opened his door on me this morning looked pretty shocked when I yelled at him. I did not call him names I just signaled that he should be aware of other people on the street. That is the main reason I haven’t been posting so often lately; it seem like I could write at least 3 posts a day complaining about stupid reckless driving and antisocial 4x4 but tat gets all a bit boring in the end.
Let’s see what winter brings perhaps I can get into some snow fight with some drivers who knows; temperatures start to go in the right direction anyway.

Back to basics.

2006-12-04T12:13:00.000+01:00

I know, it’s been a while since I posted something new, but then again nothing new has happened really; I rode my bike into work as usual, was 2 days sick like a dog, got the word form the doctor that my vitamin B levels are too low and that I must start eating meat again plus I need to take vitamin supplements. And last but not least I passed my black belt exam Kung Fu Dju Su Chan-Shaolim-Si, yay!

So what does this black belt mean? It basically means that I proved to grasp the basics of a martial arts system. Nothing more nothing less, black belts are not that glamorous, it’s really just another step in this never ending journey in mastering some martial art skill. Have I developed some awesome new skill? No, I can not fly nor vanish in thin air; honking your horn like a mad cow does not make me disappear, nor can I read your mind; It is really mandatory to use indicators before you cut my lane in order to park your car.
No fancy tricks then? well yes, but I can only show you those after you get out of your car after you tried to run me over on the roundabout or cut my priority because you can’t be arsed to wait like all the other cars in the traffic jam.

You see nothing has changed, I still ride my bike and traffic just gets worse, makes me wish I had a black belt bike riding. Or even better, I wish the car drivers all had a black belt driving, ‘cause a driver’s license is clearly no guarantee that you have grasped the basic skills to drive a car.

Jinxed

2006-11-21T10:21:00.000+01:00

As a bicycle commuter you have to bring whatever you need with you on your bike. If you bike comes with a luggage rack then you can attach some saddle bags which can hold a lot of stuff but most commuters go for the classic backpack.
I you ever wondered what we’re carrying around like that, here’s my list;

- A set of dry cycling shorts + a pair of long cycling leggings (shorts are not warm enough in the winter) if I have no dry clothes left for the ride home in the evening.
- A pair of gloves, and a warm hat that I can wear under my helmet. One needs to keep ears and hands warm when temperatures drop.
- My clothes to wear in the office. I know that the IT crowd has a more easygoing dress code, but I think that cycling jersey and shorts are part of that dress code.
- Bicycle lock (duh)
- Some breakfast (cookie + raisins) cycling on a full stomach is just not ideal for me, especially not that early in the morning
- Wallet + cell phone (with charged batteries!!)
- Spare batteries for the lights
- Last but not least: A spare tube + bicycle tool + pump.

All these items are indispensable for the serious commuter so I keep ‘em all packed in separate plastic bags to make sure it all stays dry. Did I mention a rain jacket?

You might think that I’m exaggerating, but let me tell you a story.

I left work last night and went into the parking garage, clicked computer and lights on the bike unlocked it, put lock in the backpack put on helmet, zipped up jacket and picked up the bike to take of, only to realize that my front tire had gone flat. When I say flat I mean flat as in no air in the tube not as in the tire has gone a bit soft. It’s in moments like these that you’re happy to have a pump in the backpack. Despite knowing better I pulled out the pump and inflated the tire and rode of. Alas only 3 streets further and my front wheel started wobbling due to the deflating tire. So this time I pulled over took out my bike tool and the spare tire, parked the bike, took out the front wheel (quick release are the best thing since sliced bread) lifted the tire of took out the tube, checked the inside of the tire for traces of tube-shredding gutter debris and installed the spare tube. All this while the rain was pouring down, I tell you I never felt further away from home.
And on top of that I got lost in the forest, the singletrack I normally ride was completely covered up by dead leaves. I only realized I was lost when I almost drove into a ditch filled with water, a ditch that surely wasn’t there when I rode the track in the morning. The situation reminded me a bit of The Blair Witch Project; there you are in a pitch black forest and your bike light is your only source of light and all those trees look the same. Anyway by the time I got home I was soaking wet and covered in mud.
What did I learn from this? Always make sure to have a spare tube (you really don't want to repair a flat tube in the pouring rain by the side of the road) your bike tool a good bicycle pump and a serious headlight on your bike, and don’t underestimate the bike gods. This morning I sacrificed an worn out tube and an old pair of cycle shorts in the backyard; the ride into work went flawless.

Dig your own hole.

2006-11-17T08:47:00.000+01:00

There is nothing like a ride in the woods in the morning. There’s only you, the trees and your bike. It makes you think a bit about yourself, this is the place where I might come up with some idea for another rant or rave. Talking about ranting it seems like I do that a lot; ranting and raving, kicking and screaming, and no one cares; which is only understandable. It’s always easier to see the faults and mistakes of the others than your own. And all this raving of mine only triggers some more self-fulfilling prophecies. And I don’t feel like doing that anymore.
We’re all digging our own hole anyways; I dig mine you dig yours. If you’re not then you should look around for a shovel, there are more than enough for everyone.
If you want more ranting and raving then you will have to go somewhere else or listen to yourself sometimes.
If you will pardon me now; I have a hole to dig…

Over and out.

Fair trade.

2006-11-16T12:48:00.000+01:00

This is a lovely David vs. Goliath story; a Flemish housewife mobilizes Belgian politicians to go out and watch Al Gores latest movie. The result is that she gets an invitation to go to the climate conference in Nairobi. Environment Minister Bruno Tobback even decides to give away his speaking time at the conference to Margaretha Guidone.

Lovely isn’t it; you make those politicians actually go out and watch the movie which they otherwise would never watch and as a result they even ask you to do their job. A bit surreal if you ask me. Mr. Tobback, you can’t fool me; the only reason you gave away your speaking time is because you have nothing sensible to say about the whole subject.
What have you done so far about the pollution problem? You went out and signed a contract to buy clean air for millions of Euros.
That’s probably the easiest solution isn’t it? Buying clean air... sounds more like buying a clean conscience to me. Making the real polluters pay according to the amount for c02 they pump into the atmosphere would make you less popular with your voters, wouldn't it?

People are dumb; the only way they become aware of a problem is if they loose money on it. Make company cars financially unattractive; people will think twice about driving into work if they have to pay for their own fuel. The more you pollute the more you pay, sounds like a fair trade to me.

I'm sorry, so sorry...

2006-11-14T21:19:00.000+01:00

I would hereby like to apologize to all 4x4 owners for my blatant prejudices that are only based on jealousy. I hate 4x4 so much because I really would like to drive one myself. But poor me can not afford one of these antisocial fuel guzzlers, and therefore I must make up stories in which I depict their drivers as morons of the lowest kind. Once again I'm really really sorry. I so wish I drove a 4x4 myself especially after seeing these wonderful commercials.

NSFW

2006-11-14T08:52:00.000+01:00

I know that cycling into work has done miracles on my physical condition and, yes I have shed a few kilos in the past month and a half, but quite honestly; have I become invisible? We’re talking a 6 feet something guy on a mountain bike, sporting a decoration of blinking led lights that could put a Christmas tree to shame, and despite that I got almost hit by a car last night while crossing the road on a bicycle crossing.

Dear 4x4 driver, sorry let me rephrase that; rabid 4x4 b*tch, do you think that driving a tank that consumes at least 3 times as much fuel as any normal car entitles you to drive like a blind homicidal maniac? Did you find your drivers’ license in a box of breakfast cereal? Did your guide dog not see me or did he forget to bark?

Since when don’t you have to respect pedestrian/bicycle crossings? Is there a law that says that the little girl waiting by the side of the road to cross can wait there forever until someone has the decency to stop traffic so she can cross safely and make it to school in one piece? I can guarantee that her ‘thank you’ made my day, of course the selfish bastards who ignored her would not be able to hear her in their soundproofed cars, but you can’t tell me they did not see her. Do none of these ignorant f*ckers have kids themselves? How would they feel if it was their own daughter standing there?

I’m out.

Ps: My wish list of the day:

The homicidal 4x4 c*nt last night; I wish you and the european carmakers a never ending itch in your crotch and no arms.

The little schoolgirl at the crossing; I wish you a pleasant day at school and more considerate drivers. Stay safe.

Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar!

2006-11-13T08:53:00.000+01:00

Finally, November has reared its ugly head. Last week was cold and crisp, this week started grey and wet. When I walked LL and V to the car it was already drizzling, so ‘brave’ me was already stressing out over the real rain that had to come. It started to rain for real by the time I dropped of the car to pick up my bike. By the time I was riding through the woods it was a solid shower. But the sight of all the cars stuck in gridlocked traffic made me smile again; I was soaking wet but at least I was not standing still, hahahaha. Oh for f*ck’s sake who am I fooling; no way that I like rain while cycling, I prefer my morning cold, not wet.

The problem with this fresh rain after a dry period is that all the leaves that already fell of the trees turn into some extra slippery mush which makes the daily commute a bit of a holidays on ice. Luckily most of the trees have been cut down in the city that way we don’t need to pick up leaves and clean blocked gutters. Unfortunately they have been replaced with tram rails, manhole covers and pedestrian crossings.

Now don’t get this twisted I’m all in favor of public transport and safe crossings for pedestrians and I’m no neo-luddite. I’m all in for proper sewage systems. But aforementioned objects of modern civilization turn into hideous deathtraps when it starts raining. I dare you to brake on one of the crossing stripes or make a sharp turn on a steel manhole cover glistering in the morning rain. If you ever rode a bike over a wet tram rail then you know what I’m talking about.

Then you make it to work in one piece only to realize that the heating system is still not turned on in the building. What is the use of air conditioning in November? Trust me; you can not fight global warming by turning up your air conditioning. It’s all lies…

I know what you’re thinking now; you big blouse stop b*tching about the weather after all you chose yourself to ride your bicycle; you could easily take your ‘free’ company car. You know what? You’re right it is my own choice and I’ll live by it. To all the cars stuck in traffic this morning; suck it up and stop honking the horn like that it won’t make the traffic jams disappear and NO you’re not Charlie parker; you don’t have his talent nor his sense for rhythm.

Question: Why did I not choose ‘I don’t like Mondays’ by the Boomtown Rats as a title for this post?

Answer: Because I think that ‘Sir’ Geldof is a sad attention whore who is so desperately trying to get some Nobel Prize for whatever. The same goes for you Bono; paying income taxes is not a crime. Zappa was right; Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar!

You are the weakest link.

2006-11-10T08:36:00.000+01:00

The ride home last night was pretty eventful to say the least. I once again got confronted with the sheer stupidity of some cyclists. Riding on a bicycle lane in the woods at night without any lights on your bike makes you a moron of the lowest kind. Mr. I-showed-up-too-late-when-brains-got-distributed can call himself lucky that I have a good light on my bike and a set of brand-new brakes. Stupid idiot.

Anyway the rest of the ride didn't go any better since my rear gears started to act up. It turns out one of the links in my bike chain decided to fall apart in the middle of the woods. Luckily I made it home without it breaking down completely.

So no riding today :-(. I have to get the chain replaced, hopefully this can be fixed before the weekend. No way that I want to miss my bike next week.

It seems like temperatures have finally dropped below zero. Will I chicken out on cycling when it finally starts freezing? Come back next week and find out for yourself. Until then; ride safely and use your bike lights.

These boots are made for walking...

2006-11-09T10:13:00.000+01:00

I once read or heard this story of this exclusive shoe shop somewhere in Great Britain that would sell shoes made to measure. This is nothing exceptional you might say but on top of that they offer(ed) a service whereby someone of the staff would walk in your shoes for a couple of days so they would be more comfortable when you received ‘em. This might be an urban legend, just like baked beans and kippers for breakfast, but it still sounds like a good idea. The walking in service, not the baked beans and kippers.

I recently bought me a new pair of insulated waterproof cycling shoes. And I must say that only now after 2 weeks they really start to get comfortable. I really hate to buy new cycling shoes because of all the hassle that comes with attaching the SPD cleats and adjusting them; 2 millimeters to the left or the right can make the difference between a comfy ride and sore knees or a sore back. I’m sure that there are companies out there who would be able to scan me from head to toe and tell me what my ideal seating position should be and under what angle the SPD cleats should be attached to my shoes and everything, but they charge big money for that, money I just spent on the shoes. So poor I had to go through a period of trial and error to get a good fit.

For those of you who don’t have a clue about SPD cleats; it basically is a little strip of steel that gets attached to the sole of your cycling shoe. This cleat does not interfere with your walking; you can still walk with the shoe like with any other shoe. The cleat is designed to click onto the specially designed SPD pedal. The advantage of this system is that your feet are always well positioned on your pedals which eventually results in more effective pedaling. Sounds great no? I think it is but the first time couple of times you go for a cycle tour you will have the scare of your life. First of all you have to fumble around a bit to click onto the pedals and once you are clicked onto the pedals you should remember that your feet are actually fixed onto the pedals. The first couple of times you break to a halt and you want to take one foot of the pedal only to realize that you’re stuck.

The result is you tipping over on your bike like a kid who tries to cycle for the first time without the training wheels; very painful to the knees and the ego.

There were hardly any cars around this morning, very bizarre; it looked a bit like some alien flying saucer had come by to abduct the whole lot. Plan 9 from outer space.

Dear alien(s),

We don’t need the cars any more you can keep ‘em, if you get tired of the noise and pollution then just drop ‘em in some nearby black hole. Would you, on the other hand, be so kind as to return the brain of Ms. Honda who took over this morning and braked like an utter c**nt without using any indicators thus seriously endangering the life of yours truly.

Thank you very much,

Pt3r.

Ps: A well meant it’s-okay-to-be-polite-I-don’t-bite goes out to the dear colleagues in the elevator this morning. Cycling into work does not make me invisible does it? If someone wishes you a nice day then you should at least have the decency to reply.

Now you see me now you don't...

2006-11-08T11:12:00.000+01:00

This winter-time thing what is tat all about hey? a bit confusing if you ask me. I no longer need bicycle lights in the morning when I cycle into work ‘because the sun is already up but I need to keep my rear lights turned on though. That way Ms. I-apply-makeup-while-driving-the-car-for-god-knows-what-reason or Mr. I-have-no-bathroom-in-my-house-so-I-shave-in-the-car will notice me before trying to push me into the trunk of the car in front of them. I guess that’s just wishful thinking; they never notice me ‘cause they’re still waking up or reading the newspaper or watching some DVD or whatever it is they do nowadays in morning traffic to keep themselves occupied while cueing to work.

When you ride home it’s of course already dark, so you better did not leave your bicycle lights at home or you’re f****d. Which brings me to my main gripe with nowadays bicycle lights; most of them are just these tiny blinking battery-operated led lights that you can hang all over your bike. That’s all great and everything but I must insist with my fellow bicycle commuters to respect the colors; WHITE GOES IN THE FRONT RED IN THE BACK. It has happened already two times that I almost drove into another bike because the lady had swapped the front light with the back light. These blinking head lights are pants anyways. What good are they to me when I ride my stretch of single track in the woods at night? It feels like you’re driving around while opening and closing your eyes every other second; now you see tree now you don’t…

Whatever solution you pick please o please if you’re out and about on a bicycle make sure to have appropriate lights installed on your bike and for f’s sake TURN EM ON when it’s getting dark. It’s not like a new battery will cost you an arm and a leg, being hit by a car might though. Not everybody is equipped with the supernatural power of night-vision. It’s not only a matter of seeing but also about being seen. If you don’t want to wear a helmet then that’s your problem but riding a bicycle in the dark without any lights is in my opinion criminal behavior, plain and simple.

Ps: The lucky-bastards shout out goes to all those who took over this morning on their bicycles, while I was crawling at 12 km/h into work in my car :-(.

Whereas the spot-the-difference-you-idiot award goes to the numbskull driving his motorcycle on the bicycle lane; WTF are you thinking of?

Video killed the radio star.

2006-11-07T09:16:00.000+01:00

So what keeps you going when you cycle into work? Well first of all I need to get to work so that’s a good motivator, but seriously nothing beats the feeling of riding a well serviced bike through morning traffic(jams :-)). I always try to look into the cars that I drive past in the morning, so you’re warned. If you want to scratch your crotch or eat out of your nose then you better do it at home :-) your car does not guarantee any privacy.
The one thing tat I noticed lately is how every car seems to have those big multi color LCD's on the dashboard/windscreen. What is the obsession with GPS nowadays? Why does everybody seem to think it’s impossible to leave house without them? Have we all lost the noble art of map reading? Ok don’t get me wrong I’ve been in situations where L and I wished we had one of these beauties in the car, but please with sugar on top; why do you need that thing turned on in a traffic jam? Do you think that your GPS will ‘beam you up Scotty’ all the way into work? You know where you are; you’re in a bloody traffic jam and it’s going to take you at least another hour before you make it to work!
It could also be that I got it al wrong; that’s not a GPS, it’s a television! Ooh now that would be swell wouldn’t it? cueing into work while watching the BBC breakfast show, or the Kabouter Plop show for the little ones who once again had to get up too early ‘cause mum and dad have to get to work on time.
What happened to listening to the radio? Were the Pebbles right and did video indeed kill the radio star? Well actually... no... radio killed itself once it got taken over by the clear channels and other record companies of this world, but that’s a completely different story.
I think the GPS is just part of the stupid status symbol race. First we thought ourselves better than the neighbor because we had a car then he got a car as well so we got a second car. Then he went out and bought a second car so we got us a 4x4 but nothing changed; we still look as stupid as a bg of hammers burning away 3 times as much diesel as any normal car out there in the traffic jam. And when the sea level will rise we will also get wet feet and the ultra suede upholstery of the Landcrusher will be ruined anyway.

Oh by the way did any of you see this new Shimano XTR system for mountain bikes? Carbon ,titanium and disc brakes, to die for, better shifting and breaking and effing expensive, everybody will be so jealous when I get me one of these...

Ps: The stupid-dunce-what-were-you-thinking award of the day goes to... me. When I arrived at work this morning I realized I rode all the way into work with the top pocket of my backpack wide open, only dumb luck stopped my cell phone from falling out and disintegration in a million pieces of cheap plastic somewhere in the middle of the woods.

They

2006-11-06T10:31:00.000+01:00

Do some sport they say. Eat healthy they say. It’s good for you. They say a lot; don’t they? To me it seems like they are a bit color blind; they took the blue pill instead of the red one. I’ve been doing sports for over seven years now (Dju Su and Shaolin Kempo training 3 times a week) and for a bit more than a month now I try to cycle into work every day (170 Km/week). Guess what; I have more pains than before. The only difference is that now I’m so ‘addicted’ to all that stuff that I don’t really care. Over the past years I’ve twisted more ankles and toes, dislocated more shoulders and broken more fingers than is good for me. Mind you these were all my ankles, toes, shoulders and fingers, just in case you were wondering.
So, in all honesty I think they talk a lot of bollocks, sports are not necessarily very healthy but at least you don’t grow a gut in front of your television.
Right know I’m suffering from a sore toe and a cold. But that has nothing to do with sports but all with the weather that has gone a little berserk; one week you have temperatures of up to 22 degrees Celsius in the end of October and the next day temperatures drop to a meager 3 degrees Celsius. What happened to this concept of seasons? To all the politicians; ignoring the climate changes won’t make the problem go away. Sticking your head in the sand only exposes your *** to the industry moguls who happily take you from behind in the name of benefits and turn-over.
All ranting aside I had a great ride into work today, the legs were not too bad and the extra layer of wind stopper (I bet you were thinking of something else) and neoprene is still more than enough to keep me warm in these dropping temperatures.

The mornings are getting colder and traffic jams are getting longer but life is great…

PS:
The selfish-idiot-of-the-day award goes the Ms. Clio who thought it necessary to drive thru orange in order to block a whole crossing, instead of holding back like any considerate person would do. What did you win; one measly place in the zombie rat race? Good on you.

And Last but not least; the thank you of the day goes out to Mr. or Ms. Audi for holding back at the bicycle crossing this morning and thus letting me safely cross the road, much obliged.

Damn hippies…

2006-10-27T10:11:00.000+02:00

Oh COME ON! MOVE IT! Jesus Christ on a crutch… GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU F****** HIPPIE. What the heck is wrong with these people? Why do they think they own the road? It’s not like they paid for it. Ha damn losers! Who pays for the road huh? Who pays those bloody taxes? ME! And gasoline, ha the only ones who get rich of it is the government and those, damn thieves. Thank God I have air co otherwise would be poisoned by the stench of patchouli. And look at those trousers; I’m sure you can hide at least 25 political refugees in there. And cut your hair and get a job, so you can earn your money so you can buy a car. But it’s true isn’t it? Why doesn’t she ride on the sidewalk? People like us work for their money; we need to get on time…

All right! GRANDMA ALERT!! Get of the road, stay home and watch some telly, or use your bloody bus pass. I pay taxes for you people, now move it. Don’t get a heart attack, and if you do, not here, I’m getting late. Jesus…

Careful sweetie she has a baby seat on her bike…

So what? I’m not the irresponsible one around here. They should lock ‘em away all of them hippies driving around with baby seats on their bicycles. Bloody dangerous, people like them don’t deserve to be parents. And what is the deal with these idiots towing these kids around on these half bikes. What would the cops say if I were to tow you around in another half a car? Would look pretty ridiculous wouldn’t it?

Oooooh… check out the Lycra faggot over there crossing the road, who the fuck he thinks he is? Floyd Landis? All doped up to their eyeballs… check it out I’ll give him the scare of his life hahahaha…

Dear mister-let’s-impress-the-missus-and-accelerate-and-honk-
the-horn-when-a-cyclist-crosses-the-road-on-the-bicycle-
crossing, you got it all wrong; we’re not all retired unemployed tree hugging hippie do-gooders.
Next time you should try to find that little extra courage to get out of your car and actually see for yourself.
Now THAT would be funny.

Ps: Shout out to the friendly scooter driver who stopped to let me cross the road, thank you very much.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

2006-10-26T09:55:00.000+02:00

Ok that’s a lie, I never seen, heard or smelled napalm in my whole life, not even in the morning. I do like the smell of gasoline though, but I’m not sure that’s the same as the napalm. But I don’t like diesel. That sh** is foul, crude, industrial, ...

Talking about diesel and gasoline; one of the first things I noticed when I started to drive my bike into work was this omnipresent stench of exhaust fumes. If you drive a car you just tend to forget all the pollution in the air, don’t you? Pollution mainly caused by cars. Yeah well, helloooo oooh what did you expect? You can’t blame the cyclists or pedestrians. It would take a whole lot of pedestrians and one hell of a curry to produce the same pollution and noise as your average traffic jam in the city center.

So clever me started to Google around for a solution and came across this dust filters developed especially for cyclists. Unfortunately not a single bike shop I knew sold these filters nor could they tell me where to get one. On a recent city trip to London L and I went into this huge bicycle shop near London Bridge (face it, we all have a soft spot; some people are into poultry and small farm animals, I’m into bicycle shops.) Anyway, this friendly bike shop knew immediately what I was talking about and five minutes later we were standing outside again with a little plastic bag with a gasmask and some spare filters.

Let me tell you this, it’s the most stupid thing I ever bought! First of all, the thing works too well, it only took me three days cycling into work and you could already see how the outside of the filters start to discolor with all the diesel fumes and other pollution. Now two weeks later and the filters are looking grey. Sometimes it’s just better NOT to know what you’re breathing in, ‘cause now I always have to wear that bloody mask. Which brings me to my second gripe; if you are breathing very heavily it can feel like your gasping for air thru a straw. This is not a problem when you’re engaged in some activity that requires no mental or physical effort, like listening to a Paris Hilton CD (ok that causes mental and physical trauma), but it surely sucks when your riding your bike up some technical slope.

So am I not afraid to look stupid with that mask on? Hell no, it just adds up to the whole picture, I’m already cycling around in this skintight bicycle Lycra outfit. It really can’t get any worse, can it? And no, just in case you were wondering; I will NEVER EVER, I repeat; NEVER SHAVE MY LEGS.

It’s not like, driving a car at a mind-boggling speed of 10 km/h while being taken over by some grandma on a bike does make you look any better, so bite me.

Ps: Woohooo I just upped my average speed to 24.3 km/h.

Here we go...

2006-10-25T12:07:00.000+02:00

L asks me from time to time whether my glass is half full or half empty. My glass fell of the table a long time ago and quite honestly most of the times I can't be bothered to pick it up again.
I have opinions just like anybody else and I don't claim they matter more than yours; they're mine that's all... Take it or leave it. True, I'm not known for being the greatest communicator and you can hardly accuse me of being an easygoing diplomat, but at least I try to live by my ideas instead of just sitting around while spitting my venom at the world.
My job provides me with a company car. Woohoo free car! Yeah right, there is no such a thing as a free lunch, and there is definitely no free car...
Every day I would take the car to drive LL and V to school, and then drive another 15 km to work. This sounds all fine and dandy but one should know that yours truly, hates driving a car. It feels like I enter a war zone whenever I have to drive my car into work. Morning traffic is a bloody nightmare, let me rephrase that; traffic is an f****** zombie slug race. Every zombie is cueing his/her car into the city and doesn’t give a rats’ about what goes on outside the car. They’re late for work and traffic is just not moving.

So I came up with this genius solution; let’s just leave earlier. I avoid heavy traffic and most important I arrive at work without any stress over all the other stupid drivers who just make traffic impossible for ME.

Ok, LL and V get dropped of a little earlier in school and we need to get up earlier in the morning but it’s worth it, because… I… have… a… free car, woohoo! The problem is that all the other geniuses out there had the exact same idea. Result; I got up even earlier so I could stress even more so I could start cueing even earlier into work…

To cut a long story short, one month ago, I decided to give up on the car and to cycle into work. I still use the car to drive LL and V to school but that’s it, no more cueing for this genius. I get to work in 40 minutes, whereas if I were to do the same distance by car it could take me easily up 1 hour and a half. In this blog, I will try to post some observations on my life as a bicycle commuter. Interesting? You judge, I rant and rave...